47 / 52 : “Tired”

So yes, I am still trying to finish this one year project… We have been busy and my photography brain has gotten lazy. The few ideas I’ve had for photos, just don’t come together. I attempted a few shots and they turned out bad. Laying there thinking, I took a picture of my blank, idea-less face. Here it is.

47 / 52 : “Tired”

Tired

Only 5 photos left. What will I come up with? Your guess is as good as mine!

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40 / 52 : “Self Portrait”

I thought I would take a self portrait, self portrait this week. So many photos I end up taking are the ones where I hold the camera out in front of me and take myself and others. They are fun, candid and are often the best pictures of the day…in my opinion.

40 / 52 : “Self Portrait”

There is not much to explain about this one. Simplicity. Good for this chaotic week.

38 / 52 : “Portrait”

Well, this was the most difficult photograph for me so far. I actually thought it was going to be the easiest. I wanted to take a sort of “senior portrait” type photo. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to take a official portrait of myself. It is definitely hard to capture a proper angle from a tripod. I took quite a few from all different angles and poses…I discovered I am not a model, for sure. Hahaha. Most of the time my hands looked displaced, my body was awkwardly turn or my hair was flipping in a strange way. I really like being behind the camera when it comes to the posed portraits, instead of in front.

38 / 52 : “Portrait”

I still think it is a little awkward, but it is what it is aaand there it is, me. Me with straight hair.  I use to straighten my hair all the time, this was the first time I have straightened it in years because of my medical issues.  I am glad that I am able to have that option again. After I finished straightening it, my son walked in the room and looked at me. “Mom, you look different. Your hair is all floppy and it doesn’t go back up!” His description of curls. Haha…love it!

Peaceful Fish

My doctor’s office has a fish tank, many of them do. I guess they have them to help calm the nerves of incoming patients. I love watching the peaceful fish swim around their small tank of glass and listening to gentle bubbling of the filter. I always wonder what they are thinking and what I look like through their eyes. Do they recognize a friendly face, a sad face, a nervous face, the face of someone bringing their food?

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Sometimes I wish I was a fish surrounded by the quiet solitude of water. To know what it’s like to not have to come up for air, to float and swim freely suspended. Just a few thoughts on fish…someone is calling my name.

Wednesday’s Word #26

This morning I was thinking about all the things I want to do. Every once and a while I get hit with this inspiration urge to be creative or get a lot accomplished. Most of the time that burst of inspirational energy gets interrupted or tired or distracted. Most of the time I keep telling myself why things can’t get done, why I just can’t do anything creative right now – I am too busy.

“EXCUSE”

noun: an explanation offered as a reason for being excused; a plea offered in extenuation of a fault or for release from an obligation, promise, etc; a pretext or subterfuge (dictionary.com)

I do make excuses for myself and how I spend my time. Being a busy Mom, I like to remind myself of all the things I could do if I had more time to myself. Some of it is true, but most of it is just excuses. I have always believed if there is something that you really want, you will make it happen (for the most part).

Hopefully moving forward…now that I realize what I have been doing to myself, I will stop excusing my time choices and begin to turn things around. I will stop saying: I wish I could. I will start saying: I can and I will now. I need to clear my head, make a plan and make it happen.

Wednesday’s Word #23

Well, hopefully this Wednesday Word on Thursday thing doesn’t become a habit. I don’t know what happened yesterday, I had no idea it was Wednesday… Anyway, the word for this week has multiple meanings for me.

“SCRAMBLE”

verb (used without object): to climb or move quickly using one’s hands and feet, as down a rough incline; to compete or struggle with others for possession or gain; to move hastily or with urgency

verb (used with object): to collect or organize (things) in a hurried or disorderly manner; to mix together confusedly; to cause to move hastily, as if in a panic; to cook (eggs) in a pan while stirring, usually after mixing whites and yolks together (dictionary.com)

First of all, this is a word I hope to stay away from while wrangling two small children. Because I am an organized/planner person, if I “scramble” out the door, I get to the car and feel like I have forgotten everything…especially my brain. Then I’m scrambling around in my purse and diaper bag to make sure everything is there.

This past week I feel all I’ve done is scramble around the house to just barely keep up with everything. Dishes are still not all done, projects are everywhere…undone…I need to vacuum…and what? Tomorrow is already Friday? Some weeks go by slow, others…like this one…go by so quickly I don’t even know what day it is half the time.

My kids scramble with each other throughout the day. Sometimes its cute and they are having fun, other times Mommy has to step in and resolve things. I love watching them scramble up and down the “slide” I made for them out of pillows. Hearing them shout, “weeeee” then fall into a giggling heap among sheets and pillows and get up to do it again….sigh….precious.

It was nice to not feel like I was scrambling around the library today. My kids behaved and there was no one there because we went while all the little kiddies were in “story time.” As we were walking out I decided to randomly grab one of the  books they had set out as new/interesting. I judged it by its cover and name…I usually do with BOOKS (not people). I know nothing about it. So adding to my “currently reading” list is: Breadcrumbs by: Anne Ursu. It is juvenile fiction and it is from the library, so I have a time limit – I might actually get through it quickly.

I feel like I need to go make some scrambled eggs.

Also, I am addicted to “Scramble with Friends.” Its a great game and very reminiscent of my Yahoo Word Racer days. I love word games.

Wednesday’s Word #22

The funny thing about the word this week (besides the fact that Wednesday’s Word is on Thursday) is, it was one word, then as I began to write, it became another. My week had been going really well, things had been changing for the better, a few things got a little easier – the word was going to be a light and positive word. Instead, Wednesday was so strange, confusing and tired – so tiring I couldn’t even put two sentences together. New word:

“MUDDLE”

verb: to mix up in a confused or bungling manner; jumble; to cause to become mentally confused

synonyms: confuse, botch, bungle, spoil (dictionary.com)

I hate when things start to flow – get on the right track – then, WHAM. I have been in such a valley for so long it was relieving to finally feel a slight upward motion. It’s not that I’ve gone back downhill, just tripped over a rock. Jumbled.

To be clear, Wednesday was my dentist appointment…among other things. I hadn’t been in a while because of moving around so many times recently. I knew I was having a few issues, but sheesh….because of some medicines I am currently taking, boy do I have a FEW issues. Not what I expected. It just messed my mind up thinking about more dentist appointments in the near future…boooooo!

If you haven’t been to the dentist in a while, make an appointment now! Don’t let things go unchecked, you will just end up with more problems – or worse problems. If I can do it, you can do it.

Don’t let your mind become “muddled” or clouded with confusion. Stay focused on that upward climb, even if you trip over rocks on the way or stumble on a slide of pebbles. Remember who is the true Rock who will uplift you and not make you stumble: “Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:6

Wednesday’s Word #21

Sigh. To have patience is a blessing. I do realize how quickly time goes by, so it is not so bad, but still. The word for this week is:

“WAIT”

verb: to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens; to be available or in readiness; to remain neglected for a time; to postpone or delay something or to be postponed or delayed; to look forward to eagerly (dictionary.com)

synonyms: downtime, hold, interim, rest, stay (thesaurus.com)

There are things in my life now that I am waiting for which have no specified time frame. I can see the hopeful future, but have no idea when it will occur…or in some cases, IF it will occur. So, for now I must “wait.” I’m sure there are those who can relate.

There are other things that I can see the time frame and am pretty excited about, but still have to wait. Things like my husband getting off work for the summer, like my daughter’s second birthday, like becoming at AUNT for the first time! Yaay!

The funny thing about waiting for something is like that old saying, “A watched pot never boils.” If you sit there staring at your pot, thinking about it, wondering when it will boil – it never will. If you simply set the pot on the stove, turn it on and begin preparing the rest of your meal – keeping an eye on it, but not focusing on it – it will boil quickly. Strange how that happens, huh?

So don’t focus on the waiting and the wait will be shorter. Maybe at the end of the wait is something you are not looking forward to…I hear you. Be strong and know that whatever you are waiting for, or anticipating, usually passes by in the blink of an eye. Even if it does not (of which I can relate), try and remember it is happening for a reason…sometimes I really don’t like hearing that statement either. It is a bizarre thing – some people wait for something, then never want it to end; some people wait for something, then want it over before it began. It goes back to my last word post (#20) about seasons…depending on what season of life you are in, you will either have excitement, or anxiety about the waiting game.

Psalm 33:20
“We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.”

Psalm 37:7
“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.”

10 / 52 : “B&W Me”

So I thought this week’s photo should be slightly different and a little creative. Since the world seems to revolve around cell phones now, this photo and post is completely constructed on mine. It was way too much fun playing with all the editing features…so there are probably future cell phone self portraits to come.

10 / 52 : “B&W Me”

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Technology both amazes and frightens me. It amazes me when I think about how much and quickly it has advanced in my lifetime. It frightens me when I see how much it has taken over our lives…and when I see that my 4 year old can work a tablet better than I can. Haha

Whoa…and how much is it going to advance in my kids’ lifetime?

Wednesday’s Word #19

This is a word I have heard many times. I’m embarrassed to say, I have always half understood the meaning. I decided this week I would fully understand, by finally finding out it’s root. It is not the most exciting word, but a word, none-the-less:

“SYNDICATE”

noun: 1) a group of individuals or organizations combined or making a joint effort to undertake some specific duty or carry out specific transactions or negotiations; 2) a combination of bankers or capitalists formed for the purpose of carrying out some project requiring large resources of capital, as the underwriting of an issue of stockor bonds; 3) a group, combination, or association of gangsters controlling organized crime or one type of crime, especially in one region of the country. (dictionary.com)

definition/synonyms: group of business entities; association, cabinet, committee, company, crew, gang, group, mob, organization, partnership, trust, union (thesaurus.com)

In a sentence: “One of the largest apartment houses on the upper west side is about to be taken over by a syndicate of tenants.” (dictionary.com)

Oh, okay. It is definitely a group of people – either doing a task, moving money or organizing crime. Interesting. It seems to have a few different usage options. Well, now I know… Just thought I’d share, in case you were wondering too.